Like, genuinely, knee-slapping funny.
I try to stifle the laughing by keeping my mouth shut and trying not to smile. The result is a weird sounding guffaw.
I offer up this confessional because I have been realizing that I'm just not that nice. Now, don't get me wrong. I think I'm a good person. I'm just not nice. No one would ever describe me as sweet (and good for them because I think that the descriptor "sweet" is really chauvinistic).
Being surrounded by a good amount of saccharine-personality'd BYU students (and being privy to some genuine niceness as well), I have given this a fair amount of thought. Why aren't I nicer... more aspartame-y?
So, I've tried. I've watched - nay, observed - other people in their acts of nicety. And I just feel that so often being nice means a lack of being genuine. I must lack this niceness gene that allows me to BS when other people are annoying or, worse, offensive. I can be tolerant, but I don't (or, perhaps, can't) make people feel all warm and fuzzy while they're being total douche bags.
Am I broken? Should I try harder? Is this really a problem? I know not. I really value how genuine I perceive myself to be. Should I sacrifice my genuineness at the altar of niceness?
I blame it all on my mother (whom I admire very much because she always just tells it like it is).
The question that plagues me: am I really just an itch with a 'b'?
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